Skinny is EASY – Crazy – but easy.

Skinny in 30 EASY steps.

  1. Get rid of any food in your house that is not a fruit or vegetable.
  2. Well, actually, get rid of potatoes, tomatoes and peppers, too.
  3. Make a big bottle of salad dressing with vinegar, olive oil, raw honey and a titch of salt.
  4. Buy a juicer and blender if you don’t already have these.
  5. Make sure everyone else in the house knows the only things they get to eat are smoothies, juice and salads. If they don’t like that, they’ll have to move out or cook for themselves. (See NOTE below.)
  6. Grocery shop only in the produce section. You can eat any and as many fruits and vegetables as you like except potatoes.
  7. Well, actually, you might want a few seeds, a bit of tofu or some chickpeas, too.
  8. You can have coffee and tea. Smooth Move tea is great for skinny.
  9. In the morning make a quart of smoothie with spinach, pineapple and lots of berries to sip throughout the morning and early afternoon. This becomes a meal replacement for both breakfast and lunch. Throw in some flax if you want.
  10. OR Make a quart of juice with cukes, apple, lemon, kale and ginger. Drink this on ice for breakfast and lunch.
  11. Snack on an apple or a few almonds if you are hungry after your sip-all-day breakfast and lunch.
  12. Make a HUGE salad for dinner with greens, tofu, sliced pear and nuts.
  13. If friends want to go out for dinner, invite them over for salad and tea instead.
  14. If you get hungry at 6:30, go to bed.
  15. Don’t forget to power walk at least three miles while watching the Walking Dead – Zombies are good for the stay skinny diet!
  16. I guess that means you better buy a treadmill, have access to NetFlix and have a TV or iPad to watch.
  17. During the holidays to stay away from decadent treats. It helps to book a condo in some other country to get away. Make sure the condo has a blender and access to vegetable market.
  18. Don’t buy a farm in the Midwest where a big farm table will beg for carbohydrate laden decadent farm meals.
  19. And don’t even think about adding a wood-burning pizza oven to your backyard.
  20. Food blogging isn’t a good habit for those who want to stay skinny, and reading blogs about food just makes me hungry.
  21. Make sure you have a job that keeps you busy enough for most of the day, so you don’t have time to think about food.
  22. Choose a job that also keeps you away from food.
  23. Follow the 5/2 plan: 5 days of clean nutrifeasting (my term for eat as much as you want of these vitamin rich foods) and the weekend is yours to eat what you want.
  24. Weigh yourself every morning to monitor.
  25. Never consume more than 1000 calories a day if you want to lose weight.
  26. Always wear comfortable clothes in case you get the chance to sneak in a Warrior Two or Down Dog.
  27. Well, actually, wear skin tight clothes, so if you gain any weight, you know immediately.
  28. Stay hydrated with lemon water.
  29. Watch the film “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.”
  30. Read Michael Pollan’s book, In Defense of Food.

Absurd, isn’t it? But think about what happens if you don’t do these things. We have access to the most nutrient-dense foods on the planet 24-7, and many of us have addicted brains. Once I enjoy a french fry, salty chip or cookie, I can’t stop eating. And, typically there is no shortage of the desired foods. Portions are huge everywhere. I can’t seem to manage an “Everything in Moderation” attitude if I truly want to feel great and keep my weight down. I have found that to maintain a healthy body and weight, I simply cannot be around most “American” foods. I do not have the will-power.

But, when I eat only smoothies, juice and salads, I feel energized, satiated, happy and proud of myself. My body does not get splotchy or tingly or lumpy or frumpy. I feel right. So, although these 30 steps may seem ridiculous, they are what works for me.

NOTE: I haven’t actually made anyone move out of the house, but I tend to avoid the dining room and kitchen when others are preparing or eating their food.

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